I can't express how miserable I am about Garden Robin keeping Tane at bay. It's beyond absurd. Or, well, I guess it's not: it's normal territorial robin behaviour. And even if Tane were in the garden, how could anything match the experiences I had with Bobbit? It feels like a dream now: the subsong and the company.
And this fact, that the past is so far away, another country, where different things happen, has the presence of a lead weight in my mind. You know, in the past I had fun sometimes. I did daring things. I had adventures with people. I explored being-with humans. I wasn't great at it, but I sure did practice. At some points I had two sexual partners (not at the same time, but... well...) I traveled to London every week to see my best friend. I went on holidays with Linda. With other people.
I had horses! Yes! I had horses and a dog. At one stage, I had four cats. I had rats. I fed chickens and geese. I rescued sheep. I bucket-fed calves. I've had vegetable plots. I've painted and drawn.
All in the distance and out of focus.
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