I visited my father and talked over the issues I have about my course.
For some reason, I thought he'd consider me a quitter. That's because he never fails to finish a book he starts. I used to force my way through them, but these days I just consider life to be too short. But he told me to do what I love. He said that he had sensed my frustration and my doubts and that given the money involved it would be much better to spend it on something that either I truly treasured or that I realistically believed would help me to get to somewhere I want to go.
I asked him about volunteering too: should I forget big academic dreams and instead throw in my lot with the Wildlife Trust. Three days a week and maybe a job at the end of it, like Dave and James and Janet. And I do fancy that. But I am worried about three days plus the work that I have to do. Two days a week and it'd be an easy decision. Three and it's tougher - if I am working in London two other days and working from home all the rest of the time and in the evenings as well.
He said, would they accept two days a week for a longer commitment? And I thought, well, I could at least ask. One of the roles is with Clare of the great kindness. Another is just up the road from where I live.
What I would like is to talk to the people at Dartington and at Black Mountains and see if if if it is viable. The taught course at Dartington excites me... but how could I be in Devon twice a week? So the MPhil seems better but then, there is the issue of me not having done a Masters. I have emailed them. Let's see what happens.
It was great to talk to my dad about it all.
He said, 'You are certainly not a quitter. Of all the things I could say about you, quitter is not one.' I dread to think what the others are. He just laughed.
Comments