Still uneasy. My new pal Judy phrased it well: the difficulty and fear of stepping into the here-unfolding.
So, I went to see Kairos. On the way, I realised that I was being watched.
Although I was feeling uneasy, my energy may have been less scattered as I seemed to scare the animals less. Maybe the ones near Kairos are coming to accept me as not totally and completely terrifying.
I sat with my tree thinking about what to do as previously I had the sense that to attend was enough. Now there is the feeling that more is required. The trees say they do not share their wisdom to help or teach us: they state what they know as beings who have been around for far longer, both as species and as individuals.
Kairos had me lie curled up at his base, my ear to the earth. I needed to appreciate that as much as trees go up, defying gravity, they also multiply gravity in seeking the beneath. I know roots don't go down anywhere near as far as stems go up, but there is so much of the tree that is unseen. Some regard the roots as akin to the brain (molecular biologist Anthony Trewavas, for example). Was my brain closer to Kairos's brain when I lay my head on the ground?
What did I sense, apart from complete peace and acceptance? Being at home-ness? Presence, there's that. Not being alone.
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